seen

It is a fear that a lot of us carry around, something that we work hard to avoid by achieving and hustling to remain relevant -- the fear of being small and unseen. The thought of being insignificant and unremarkable is unbearable in the brains of us meager humans. 

It is true, though, really. We are very small. In the scope of the universe and the millions of humans that are around us and that have lived and passed on before us, what is our significance actually? Aren’t we made of dust and to dust we will return?

Even worse than small, now we are merely made of dust? 

Oh, but that dust was crafted by the hands of the Creator. Brought to life with the breath of His infinite, almighty, omniscient Being. Bearing His image and sustained by His steadfast love and grace. 

It is now that we realize, it isn’t so much about us and our smallness. It never was. It is about our great and good God, who formed us by His own hands and called us good and infinitely valuable. It is about our loving God, who sees us, hurting and broken, and stooped down by entering into the brokenness to allow Himself to be broken.

So many times we still want to change the narrative, even knowing these truths. We want to celebrate being seen, and yes, while it is a wonderful truth that we are seen and known, let us first and foremost lift our eyes to worship the One who sees. The very one from whom we have received our own sight. 

So she called the name of the Lord who spoke to her, “You are a God of seeing,” for she said, “Truly here I have seen him who looks after me.” Genesis 16:13

Heavenly Father, we confess that our hearts are conditioned by sin to turn inward, to desire status and worship for self. We will never satisfy. When we feel small, may we rejoice in our smallness and lift our eyes to You, to soak in Your vast glory and goodness. When we do not feel seen, may we remember what we celebrate this season - the God who sees, who comes down and who rescues. Thank you for being a God who indeed does see.

shadow + light

Will there be shadows in heaven, I wonder. We think of shadows as dark and darkness as evil. The Light overcomes the darkness. God separated the light from the darkness, as we read in Genesis, but does the dark represent evil all of the time? The dark night sky draws attention to the full moon that I watched ease up over the horizon last night, absolutely brilliant. Late afternoon autumn leaves dance with the breezes, their shadows projected onto my living room window - beauty that I would not have otherwise noticed. I love shadows in my photographs, adding layers of story and complexity. Would I have noticed the tree in the image above if there was not a shadow of its gnarled and twisted physical body? 

Are shadows and darkness two different things? The shadows are caused by the light and draw our eyes back to the light. Why is it that in such a dark year, the year that is not over but is already being used as an adjective to describe anything that can possibly go wrong, am I, more than ever, aware of the Light? In this challenging, in many ways dark year, the Word of God has never been more fully illuminated in my reading.

Psalm 91:1 “He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.”

If we do feel the darkness of the world right now, may we hold onto the hope as we are reminded this time of year that the Light has overcome the dark. And sometimes a shadow reminds us that there is Light -- and because of that Light, we can find rest in His shadow.

I have no thorough answers today. My thoughts will continue to wonder and wander on these ideas, but I do pray that all of my wondering and wandering always bring me back to the Light. 

Heavenly Father, may the shadows + darkness lift our eyes to You, our Light + our salvation. Even when the darkness threatens to overwhelm us, we know that we can rest in the shadow of the Almighty. Keep our eyes open and our heads lifted to see the Light of the world.

behold.

I am quite certain that I have never used the word “behold” in my day to day speech patterns. It would most definitely raise a confused eyebrow if I suddenly decided to pepper it into my speaking throughout the day. “Behold, I bought the jar of peanut butter that you asked me for at the store today!” 

Perhaps “behold” does not exist in our daily lexicon because, not only does it sound antiquated, but the response/action/behavior that it requires is one that is also becoming foreign to us. To stop what we are doing and give our FULL attention to something? To look upon something with a deep and unswerving gaze? I mean, that just isn’t something that we value anymore. How can we be productive and efficient members of modern society if we aren’t multi-tasking with as much pace as we can muster? 

I love photography because it requires the act of beholding from me (though of course I have never thought to use that particular word). I pay attention. I zoom in to find hidden facets of beauty that are not otherwise noticed. As I open up the aperture of my camera’s lens, the tiny details become more and more focused, blurring out all that is surrounding and may distract. Behold, what beauty! Behold, what an extravagant Creator to lavish the world with intricate detail and endless nuanced beauty.

Even as we read through the gospels, have we even been focused enough to take note of the use of the word “behold”? Are we just zipping through the old, familiar stories as part of our tired traditions, or are we seeing them with new eyes and marveling with wonder at the words that illuminate the Word of God who became flesh? Let us listen to the words of the angels and may we fall on our knees, ceasing all of our activities and praising our Creator. 

“And the angel said to them, ‘Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.’” Luke 2:10-11

Heavenly Father, restore in us the ability to behold. May the aperture of our hearts be opened that our focus is on You and You alone. May the noise and distraction of the world quiet and blur as we behold You and Your glory.